Why Isn't Therapy Working?

We’ve all had the experience of wanting things to be different, taking steps to change (like starting therapy!), and feeling stuck. Even though we’re putting in the time and effort, we’re just not feeling better. Leaving us with the thought ‘Why isn’t therapy working?’ Last time, we talked about how you know when therapy is working. Today, we’ll explore some reasons why therapy may not be helping.

1. Your goals aren’t clear

Sometimes, we start therapy with a clear idea of what we would like to be different in our life. Other times, our therapist works with us to establish clear goals to guide our sessions. If you don’t know what you’re working on, it’s hard to feel like anything is getting accomplished. 

2. Your therapist isn’t the right fit

As we move through the therapeutic process, we begin to identify what we do and don’t like in therapy. Sometimes, the way our therapist does therapy isn’t what we need or want.  One way of thinking about it is that therapy is a medicine and individual therapists are the different types of medicine. Some therapists will be able to offer what you need and want, some won’t. 

3. You may not be ready

Change happens over time. It can be easy to judge where we are based on where we would like to be. It’s important to be patient with where you are at. Carl Rogers once said

"The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change."

4. You might need to see a medical doctor

The body impacts the mind and the mind impacts the body. When no matter what we do, we’re still not feeling better, it might be worth a check-up with our medical doctor to make sure everything is OK physically.  

5. You might be scared

Many people have the experience of becoming more aware once they start therapy. Sometimes, change can be scary. We might be feeling scared but unaware of our fear. This unconscious fear could be leading us to behaviors that are counterproductive to our therapeutic goals.  

Like, we talked about last time: People come to therapy for a lot of different reasons. Therapy may not be working for a variety of reasons that depend on why you started. This is by no means an extensive list, but it might serve as a helpful conversation starter with your therapist. 

This post was written by Madeline Stein ©  and originally posted on Mindful NYC and has been shared with permission.